The Courageous Act of Letting Go

At the start of each year, I make a list of goals.

For the purpose of transparency, I’ll admit that I rarely meet even half of these goals by the end of the year.

There’s something about the early weeks of January that make me feel like I can read at least 20 new books and run a 5k by the time December rolls around. Anyone else do the same thing?

Every year I tell myself to take it slow, or dream a little more realistically. And every year, I find myself disappointed that I didn’t (magically) pick up a foreign language.

Why do we do this? Overshoot.

Why do I knowingly make such outrageous goals for myself?

I think, deep down, I know that maybe if I set the bar extremely high, I’ll land somewhere in the middle and still be okay.

So, even if I don’t visit two new countries, I’ll be excited that I took the time to visit five cities in states I’ve only ever passed through. For me, it’s about finding a soft place to land in the in-between. It always has been.

Until today.

I was flipping through my old, worn-out journal that I’ve trekked with me for a while now. It has years of tear-stained prayers and dried out flowers and highlighted verses, and all the other things you can cram between the lines of crinkled paper.

I was looking over my goals for the year, and about half-way down the page was a bullet that I had looked over for the past couple months. Stated lightly between “try ten local coffee shops” and “discover a new band” was, “write three letters of forgiveness.”

Oh, January Carlie. She is nothing if not a dreamer.

Looking back, I knew exactly what this was about.

Each year I choose one word to focus on for the next 365 days. I pray about it, speak it into my life, and live as best as I can by it. My word for 2018 was freedom.

At the start of 2018 I wanted to experience freedom from the hurt, pain, and sin I had been holding on to for so long. While it was definitely an eye-opening year, I knew that 12 months wasn’t long enough to learn how to let go of heartache.

I knew that there would be things that I carried in to 2019 that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I also knew that eventually, I would have to let these things go.

It sounds so easy, doesn’t it?

I often find that it’s much easier to tell someone else to just “let it go”, than it is to release your own burdens.

No two burdens look the same, either. For you, it might be fear that you’re holding on to. Fear of tomorrow, or of never getting your dream job, or never meeting “the right one”. Fear of fear.

For others, it could be the burden of what others have done to you. Things you have done to other people.

No matter what your burden is, it can be hard to let go of.

And here I am, already in the ninth month of the year, with my intention of forgiveness a mere afterthought, but my burdens weighing heavily on my shoulders.

So, if you thought you were the only one tired from the sins and trials of yesterday, let me tell you, friend. You and I are one and the same.

Letting go of the chains that hold you down is hard. They become part of you. The fear you have, the anger you’ve carried, the hurt you’ve harbored, become part of your identity.

But that is not who we were created to be.

We were not put here on this Earth to be slaves to our pasts and the trials we fear. Holding on to these weights only inflicts pain on ourselves, not the ones who have hurt us.

We must have the faith to let go, or we will never truly be free.

In Luke 23, Jesus is hanging on the cross, naked, beaten, and betrayed, paying the price of man for sins He had not done.

As the soldiers who hung him there gambled with dice for the scraps of his clothes, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

King Jesus, Savior of Man, was mocked and spit on and left to die.

And some of His last words were a whispered prayer that God may take favor on the men who killed Him.

As I reread this passage tonight, my heart aches for me.

For me.

My Jesus, whom I constantly boast, had more forgiveness for all of man than I will ever know, and He has called us to live for more than these chains we place on ourselves.

Let me challenge you today to be more courageous than I’ve been this year. Hold yourself accountable for the things you cannot let go of and live a little more like Jesus and less like you.

It’s time to be honest with ourselves about what is truly holding us back from living out the good deeds of God and preventing us from the freedom He promised us on the cross.

It’s time to forgive. Time to make amends.

It’s time to have the courage to let go.

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As you go on throughout this week, remind yourself of the goodness of God. This goodness lives in you.

For Bible plans on forgiveness, check out bible.com.